That Conversation Bully
I haven't posted in a while due to creative anxiety. I seek to break that with this though it's not gold nor shouldn't be.
Something I have noticed recently, this last year is that conversations and discourse has become far too polarized for many reasons. But one reason, I am going to explore…
Too much espousing.
Too much rigidity.
Too much proselytizing.
Too much deafness.
Too much speaking.
Too much speaking and not enough listening and more so, acknowledging and concluding.
Too much proselytizing and rigidity therein. Trying too hard to convey and convince others of their proposed belief systems. Poised like a predator ready to jump at their prey all too soon. Too soon that not only did they not get their meal to fill their starving stomachs but also too soon that they did not listen to the nuances that enabled an accurate conveyance and understanding of thought.
Too much deafness with little no listening to the other.
Too quick are those that feel they have something to say just to say it.
Too quick are those that choose to not listen but jump at the moment the other has to breathe and continue their rhapsody. Meanwhile never truly listening to the other. Just ready to toss their own words on someone else's words with no regard to what the other had to say or said.
Where did actual conversation go?
What happened to real discourse?
Not just a fight for the last word.
Not just a point to make.
Not just a dismissal of the outside...
…But balanced conversation that benefits all parties.
The art of actual conversation seems lost and seems it has been lost for a while. Even with yourself.
Everyone is very quick to make their point without letting the other convey their thoughts.
I'm sure it wasn't meant to walk all over another's thoughts and words. Who doesn't want to be heard? What fragmented part of yourself doesn't like not being heard?
If you want to be heard, listen to the other. Let yourself be heard to others and yourself.
Simply being ready to say what you have to say while barely listening to the other, does no justice to what you have to say. You're just a conversation bully in that case. All you'll get out of that approach and style is usually ill will and a waste of time. Maybe a little ego-build but not a constructive build to that precious ego that's not in check, just yet.
This also applies to one's own self-speak. Your own self-talk. Do you ever notice yourself talking over yourself just like you have with others? Thoughts flying in on top of each other, topic after topic. Tangents upon tangents. Multiple points never fully made nor fully vetted. Just more of more. Never really getting anywhere. Spinning wheels, inside and out.
This observation of shitty discourse not only applies to discourse with others but also applies to discourse with yourself.
Give others more space.
Give yourself more space.
Facilitate your speech with others and yourself.
Facilitate your conversations with others and with yourself.
Listen more. Speak less. Both within and without.
Don't be a conversation bully with others.
Don't be a conversation bully with yourself.
It just might benefit all parties involved.